She said her name was "party"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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