I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
