If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
