bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I love having hate sex.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
