the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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