so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
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Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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