I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
