just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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