508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
