i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
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