I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
40s are totally the cure
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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