Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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