and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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