Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
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