The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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