it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
