Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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