My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
