i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
