Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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