nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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