so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
