already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She's the barista slut.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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