He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
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