I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
