wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
