i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
