someone owes me an orgasm
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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