This girl is more easily done than said...
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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