He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
