everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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