Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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