you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
