white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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