filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My Sexting was not on an AP level
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
