ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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