Where did you get a picture of my penis
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
