I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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