I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
