Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
