So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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