That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Randomize
