After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
