the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize