Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
