Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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