Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
