well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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