how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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