He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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