Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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