Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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