As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
