Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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