i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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