well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
