your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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