this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
