i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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