Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
