those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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