dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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